Saturday, November 19, 2011

Walking by a Cemetery in the Rain

"Look at the beautiful puddle!" said the Mule as she got out of the car and happily plodded through the water in her rain shoes. That twist of perception about a puddle opened my eyes to puddles today.

Later, walking home in the gusty wind and constant rain, I took a short cut through the grounds of a Buddhist temple. Fallen momiji maple leaves were floating in a puddle in the grey overcast light of afternoon; it seemed extraordinarily beautiful in that moment- perhaps influenced by the Mule's morning comment. The puddle seemed so never before here- a fleeting moment of beauty- it freed me from ruminating on my to do activities.

I glanced at the tombstone markers on which I normally do not dwell, for once I let my thoughts be. I began contemplating my epitaph: what would mine say? I came up with this, Here lies the human body of a soul that was grateful for her moment. I thought it was pretty good, that I should write it down, but then I came home with only my feet, encased in rubber boots, being dry. There were things to put away, tea to drink, games to play- the thought was lost amongst the busyness.

Later, awaiting bathing children, I scrolled through Facebook and saw the quote "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." Reminding me of my earlier thought so I wrote it down because with the weight of C. S. Lewis it still seemed appropriately appropriate.  Death motivates some toward unfinished business, but for me it made me think about beauty and how much more is there if only we see it. There is a part of me that wishes I could capture the fleeting nature of beauty in all it's guises. As when I heard the Moose singing Free Fallin' while his dad played guitar tonight- his small body perched at the end of my bed, swinging a sword, singing with a soulful voice that carried the tune, and his utmost shyness demonstrated by him rarely singing around us anymore, but the tune caught him and the moment was beautiful. I wish I could see things this way all of the time.