Monday, October 7, 2013

Love Anyway

Pastor Rob read the lyrics to this song on Sunday. I didn't know the song, but the words buzzed in my head all afternoon anyway.


Anyway 
People are often unreasonable, illogical,and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. 
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. 
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
Author unknown  
music by Maggie and Suzzy http://www.roches.com/lyrics/zerochurch.html#ANYWAY


My husband will tell you, I'm a dreamer. He still chides me for, "Let's bicycle around Australia!" I think this was on the heels of my suggestion that we take the transcontinental train across Siberia. I used to get mad at his lack of interest. I think he knew I wouldn't make it past the proverbial local hill. Eventually, I realized my life's adventures were closer to home. 

I want to do something grand like slay dragons or save the ark. I thought if I wasn't struck down by tragedy and misadventure like Anne Frank or a Dear Sugar advice seeker, that I was doomed to live in the land of happy people where nothing interesting ever happens. There are no stories, there are no adventures, and there are no movies about the land of happy people.


It feels unfair to claim a struggle when others go deeper, darker, or further away. Like Sisyphus, I struggle over and over with the same rock(s). Then a young writer, Kerry Leigh, reminded me that whatever struggle you have, it is yours, and it is how you know what pain or love is through your experience. My wee rock collection is a good enough rock collection.


While waiting to fall into some black hole, I've noticed that my heart doesn't listen to reason, and it has a tendency to make me cry. The waterworks (tears) spring into action with a sigh of breath, a stir of love, or a drop of beauty. It's how my heart sends me directions because my brain just won't shut up otherwise, my very own dowsing rod. Fat lot of good it does me when I get choked up and feel lost in a sea of emotions, but there it is.

I defer to the experts as if only they know the magic formula for the good, the bad, and the ugly. 
I rush in, I dig too deep, I pan too shallow, and that divining rod that resides in my chest trembles and directs me to love anyway