Thursday, July 17, 2014

Film Cameo

I auditioned for a film role under duress. Though I did not get the role, I found the experience to be revelatory. I thought acting was about the desire for attention. However, in facing my fear that others would be looking at me,  I, instead, found myself tapping into an inner space that I didn't even know existed. The emotional flow felt amazing as it came out in the scene!

My friend, the film director Pearl Gluck, later came back and told me that she had several people unfamiliar with the players look at the screen tests. She said (flattery to ensue) that several of the unknown people mentioned my screen test. Though it was clear I was not a trained actress (the role went to a trained actress), she wanted me to do a cameo in the film. She then secured the deal by telling me that I could write my own dialogue. That lured me right over the edge of safety.

Last night I went to the film set of The Turn Out at eight in the evening. I left at three thirty in the morning, all for my brief appearance.

Despite having written the lines, though she did change the name of the role, I could barely remember the story I had concocted for myself, despite frequent re-readings, with my internal panic and all of the people looking at me. I can't imagine how the scene will appear on the screen. It was so intimidating to muster that inner emotional flow in front of a group of actors and the film crew. I did what I could do. I'm grateful and happy to have played a part in bringing my friend's story to the screen, but don't expect to see me in another role anytime soon. It's like messing with crazy power, and I'm not sure I want to know what is in the genie's bottle.

Stay tuned, there is a movie coming out of Athens at the end of summer. I keep learning again and again that art is vital to the human experience-- make some, see some, support some. Thank you for the opportunity Pearl!