When to Walk Away...

A recent experience with collaboration left me feeling frustrated, though, coordination, not true collaboration, gets closer to the interactions. The group adhered to Robert’s Rules, but we did not talk much outside of the meetings. There was little knowledge of each other, and we had no discussion of ground rules, priorities, or specific goals for the work we were doing. As the year evolved, we had less and less trust and no place for feedback. At one point when ideas were brought forth for discussion, instead, accusations vented momentary frustration and caused irreparable damage.

How to collaborate? My “to read” pile proffered help from Dan Sanker’s Collaborate! The Art of We.

Turns out, it’s a good idea to spend time getting to know each other, building trust and mutual understanding, writing down goals and measures for success, and establishing communication protocols. Ground rules for constructive feedback include focusing on ideas, not the person. It’s helpful to have leadership that has the ability to see the big picture and has the ability to tolerate intense exchanges of ideas and opinions without withdrawing or becoming defensive, thus avoiding the shouting match/accusation mess endured in the above experience.

What can group members do in these situations?

Executives are the ones to set up the ground rules, agenda, and goals. It falls to them to articulate this and leaves the non exec in the weak position of asking non-threatening questions or throwing out reminders of why we are gathered. Without trust, specific goals, or a place for feedback, the best tact is retreat. If the group dissolves, hopefully, a new, more collaboratively minded group will step in.

Individually, it helps to be self-reflective, work on our interpersonal skills, and contribute to the mindset of how we can work together which includes things like treating one another with respect, listening to one another, being honest, honoring commitments, and sharing the blame when things go wrong.

I stuck out the group and tried to focus on the reason I was there. In retrospect, I would advise myself differently. It takes a toll to be part of something unhealthy, and it tends to draw you down. If you’re involved in a collaboration or group work in which there is not a discussion of the group’s goals, a reminder of what’s been accomplished, what work needs to be done, lacks written communication, allows negative comments to block the flow of ideas, walk away.

The Gift of the Messenger

I have a theory that books can save lives, mine in particular. I think that the magic book or words will appear when needed. It's the middle of the night, but I'm in need of some saving so I open my Kindle and find this:

"Sure burnout comes from not taking care of yourself and burning the candle at both ends, but, more often, burnout comes from one or a combination of the following: 1. Lack of connection to purpose in what one’s working on, resulting in boredom, disinterest, and apathy 2. Lack of connection to people; not feeling seen or cared for, and not having a shared sense of purpose 3. Lack of celebration, appreciation, and acknowledgment for wins (little or big) 4. Lack of safety for vulnerability, creative expression, and authenticity 5. Lack of a reboot and recovery between projects or trips 6. Lack of empowerment and accountability, and not being and feeling well used 7. Lack of intention, presence, and therefore boundaries." 

-Anese Cavanaugh, Contagious Culture

A few pages later there is this example that brought into focus the discrepancy of views of the same problem between a leader and the team.

"In their eyes, Jackie swooped in constantly, disempowered her team, made them feel inadequate, and then turned into a martyr at sunrise. It didn’t feel good. Let’s play it out. Jackie had unintentionally written herself into the role of hero in that no one else could do the job but her. (But the team was actually highly capable—the team members just needed clear communication and direction.) She then quickly stepped into the role of perpetrator, energetically blaming and judging the team for not being capable, and taking opportunities away from team members. (They felt small, judged, and robbed of experience.) And then she fell victim to being overwhelmed. Because she was so overwhelmed, she was often late to meetings, didn’t respond to e-mail, and left meetings early. Her team members felt she thought she was more important than all of them. By not speaking up, the team members had played right into the cycle with their own story, making the cycle even stronger. The fix was simple. The team members gave feedback (with care) and then made requests. Jackie owned her impact and made amends. Then they all redesigned agreements for how they’d move forward together. There was no drama. Just accountability. We write ourselves into roles every."  

- Anese Cavanaugh, Contagious Culture 

No drama? That's out of my hands. With care? I need more information here because I put a lot of thought into the message, and it exploded big, fat, and ugly. Screaming, "The messenger is not the message," is of little use. It dawns on me, this problem is as old as time.

Messengers get shot or need to run fast. 

The message is only relevant if you search inside yourself, and it sticks. Soul searching has a way of making us better human beings if we do it honestly, and no one wants to tell you this stuff because it's hard. It's uncomfortable. Listen. Listen deep in your heart. I'm trying to help you. It's a gift to get a message like this, one that makes you wince, yes, but if you use it... 

Use the message to make you better, not to shoot me.

An Evolution of Happiness

I just want you to be happy.
Thanks Mom. 

That felt like a ton of bricks when I went off to college. I didn’t know what would make me happy. I thought I was alone in this particular confusion, that I was born this way. There's some truth to this. Researchers at the University of Minnesota studied identical twins separated at birth and found that half of our happiness is hard wired; it’s in our genes. I’m a fairly serious, randomly funny, person that lives a messy life full of distractions, pot holes, and time warps. I would not say that I’m gentically programmed to be extremely happy, but I get that I, and you, are uniquely, genetically endowed- no other snowflake is like me or you. I thought happiness was follow this path to a good job and have a family on this timeline. However, who knew that learning the how and what it is that makes me, specifically me, happy would be so hazy.

Sometime in the mid two thousands with small babies in the house, my husband came in crowing about having heard the secret to happiness on the radio. I cocked my head.

Well?
It’s not what you think. It’s not the lottery, a powerful job, or money.
It’s two children under two?
It’s how close you live to your job!

A study had found that proximity or living close to your job, a short commute, was the key to happiness. At the time, we lived in Washington, DC, where no matter where you live, it takes forever to get where you need to go. A frustrating commute could turn a sane person crazy. From DC we would visit Athens and marvel that we could get anywhere in town in less than fifteen minutes. That moment was the set up for our intention to live some place that we could readily traverse.

My next external happiness clue came from a National Geographic story about the Blue Zones where pockets of longevity were studied that included, Loma Linda, CA, Sardinia, Italy, and Okinawa, Japan. Diets varied from vegan to Mediterranean, required no unusual exercise regimens beyond natural activities like walking but all of them had faith, family, and social networks that supported healthy behaviors. Happiness again seemed to be partly about location, a community having certain things in it.

The Harvard Grant Study which looked at a group of Harvard undergraduates over a seventy-five year period concluded that the best predictor of happiness is not the perfect job, not money, health, nor good looks, it's relationships. All you need is love.

Ok, so love and location.

The thing was, I was married, with kids, but I mostly wished I had some space, another location, from all that relating, love. Space to think in complete sentences. I missed my job where people listened to me, paid me money, and did what I said. I missed that, but not all of it, not the fifteen hour days, not eating takeout most nights, and not the just work, work, work. I wanted a better handle on my commute, my community, but also on my day to day life. I wanted to cook my own dinner. Read more books. There was something else I couldn't quite put my finger on. What else? Some big goal?

Research says one off events like getting a dream job or moving to Athens impact happiness but that these kinds of huge goals dissipate quickly which bring us to the ongoing twelve percent rooted in valuing faith, family, community, and work. 

I attend church regularly, I meditate occasionally, I work in the community frequently, and that family it keeps on loving me whether I’m happy or not, but work? Not eighty hour weeks that give us health problems. It’s co workers those social connections, but it’s also rewarding work. 

Rewarding work?

Rewarding work is about earned success, and you define how you earn this success- sales? Students taught? School lunches changed? Stories written? Films made? If you can discern your own project and discover the currency you value, work will be rewarding.

The pursuit of happiness is about discerning what makes you happy, but that is a kind of slippery thing. You have to notice what excites you. What do you love? What fuels your interest over time? Pay attention to what excites you. Notice your taste. Pay attention to your attention. I'll steal a line from Ira Glass, What make your world seem bigger, like a world you want to live in? A world with surprise? Joy? Then you have to learn to throw up the question, what's amusing to you? You have to figure out how to do this from where you are doing the work you do... so choose wisely. 

It's in your choices that you'll find your happiness, but you'll have to choose what makes you happy again and again and again. Happiness evolves.

The IKEA Effect

There's this idea that's been around for a while (2011) called the Ikea Effect. It's about the work put into assembling furniture from Ikea that though it may not be the prettiest, the time and labor put into it makes it all the more valued. Labors of love are special. Even Harvard has studied it. 

Today, I officially reentered the work force because of someone else's vision and value of my professional journey which has taken me through five degrees, three continents, a career in health care, a dual masters degree in nursing and business, a love of story, and the desire to work with students again. My heart glows with thanks and gratitude, made all the more meaningful because it was assembled, so to speak, by hand with directions in Swedish with a lot of screw drivers and hammers. 

It's not a fancy title. It's not for riches. It doesn't even include a tuition break, but it's a launch. Thank you! I can't wait to see where we go. 

When Wonder Woman Rules

Not long ago a friend at the end of a hectic day sat down with a glass of wine and a wistful look in her eye. "I feel like I do everything at seventy-five percent-- parenting, teaching, marriage, art. I can't do any one thing at a hundred percent anymore. It's so disheartening," she sighed. I could only nod in agreement. Who hasn't felt stymied in the attempt to be Wonder Woman, and, for me, my friend is Wonder Woman. It got me thinking about the juggling act of life.

It's the falling short of our own expectations that haunts us, but do we consider that our standards are set for olympic conditions much of the time? Let's think about this.

Wonder Woman looks fabulously fit, lives in a palatial yet immaculate villa, kicks villain butt regularly, wears spectacular gold bracelets, and manages to have a successful career including comic books and a television show. I don't recollect marriage, children, or household chores factoring much into her days, but she's the one we conjure up in our hour of despair. We compare ourselves to the idols of course.

I'd like to blame it all on Wonder Woman, but the truth is I drive myself like Andrew Carneige or J.D. Rockefeller drove the steel workers or oil contracts-- with ridiculous demands fearful of an unproductive moment or relationship. I also exhaust myself. 

In the attempt to consider new juggling methods while looking as fabulous or not as Wonder Woman, these thoughts come to mind:

Buckets. Different buckets need to be focused on at different times. Think of it this way, you focus on learning in college, the screaming kid in childhood, the job at hand in the pressure cooker of your career. The perfectly balanced life is an illusion--read Fast Company article by Keith H. Hammonds, Balance is Bunk!  Your sanity is better served by accepting your fate at hand, doing what you're good at, and redesigning life regularly.

Sabbaticals. Academics and priests break away from routines at least once every seven years. Try a change of focus for a whole day, a whole month, a whole year. Do a side project that follows your bliss just for the fun of it. Commit to it, plan for it, make it happen. Take a break from the way you normally go about business and redesign it.

Meditation. The research on mindfulness is pointing the way for anyone who doubts the value of this restorative practice. Blocking the time is often a struggle, but it's really the mind game of valuing calm over chaos. Start with five minutes. Really, you can do five minutes, everyday. Go from there.

Focus on the now. My least favorite activity is shifting my focus from what I'm doing to what someone else calls me to notice. However, I think this is at the root of the falling short fear noted above. If I don't focus on the moment at hand, I'm missing it. Very few brains can simultaneously listen and hold a thought so stop trying. Focus on the who, what, the now, right before you, and let go of that thought. The crux of the struggle is the attempt to control our attention- attention gets pulled, the counter attempt to shift back attention competes with the demands of the moment at hand, but instead of fighting the shift, do it, be done with it. Once the wall of attention is breeched, the focus is gone anyway so get into the moment, be there. Then you can wander back into the abyss. It helps to block off schedules, phones, internet access, or set time limits to avoid total access all the time, but know that some things will manage to get through. Be in the now.

Go outside. I know my mother was a fan of this one, but it does reset the mental energy. Go out into the expanse of the great outdoors. Some how I come back in with a new feeling of possibility. Skip the smoke, but wallow in the sunshine, watch the rain drops, feel the breeze, look up at the patch of sky drifting some where near you. The world is so very large. Connect to that largeness and loose yourself in it.

Power moves. I recently watched Ann Cutty's TED talk, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. I've got one thing for you. It takes two minutes. Put your arms up in the victory thrust. Wait for it, wait for it. Feel the surge of testosterone and calm? Let them fuel your attitude. Stay there for two minutes. Now, go forth and lead like the Wonder Woman you are.

Nature's Magic & Foaming Hand Soap Recipe

Nature's Magic. Photos by Elizabeth Reyes.

Danielle Young chuckles as she relates her biggest business catastrophe. While pouring essential oil from a gallon container into a measuring cup, a small amount spilled, leaving an entire office building smelling like peppermint for several days. She adds, “At least it was near the holidays.” Danielle makes Nature’s Magic, non-toxic sustainable cleaning products. She has gone from mixing sixteen ounce bottles of the “magic” in her kitchen to five gallon buckets in her office— requiring considerably more heft. “You’ve got this,” her husband encouraged when she decided to expand. But it has taken more than mixing and gallon jugs to develop her line.

In 2008, Danielle, a professional social worker by training, decided to open a cleaning business to align her work hours with the demands of family life.

Given her concern for the safety of both her clients and herself, she began searching for cleaning products that were both effective and non-toxic. Her research into what was commercially available revealed products with long lists of chemicals -- including petroleum-based surfactants which are used to keep oils mixed into the liquids.  Even brands touting environmental tags contained toxins! Danielle, realizing the lack cleaners she felt safe using, decided to make her own.

Over a period of several years, using 100% pure essential oils, locally sourced vinegar, and organic castile soap for her products and friends and clients as guinea pigs, Danielle developed her plant based recipes for Nature’s Magic. She made the decision not to use surfactants and chose an easier, environmentally friendly solution. A tiny shake from users’ hands mixes the essential oils back into the liquids with ingredients that are easy to pronounce and understand.

The feedback from clients, friends, and family was, “not only is my house clean, but it smells good,” and “it’s safe for my kids and feels peaceful. Where can I get more?” The combination of feedback, several years of experience making and using her own products, and her awareness that the market lacked sustainable options pushed her out of her comfort zone and into the marketplace.

Having outgrown her space at home, she turned to an Athens, Ohio, business incubator ACEnet (Appalachian Center for Economic Networks) for help. With a larger storage area, dedicated work space, shared equipment, and access to technical resources, the process of bottling Nature’s Magic for sale began. The blue bottles with their hand applied labels protect the powerful cleaning capabilities of the pure essential oils. It was now time to see her products on the shelves of the local markets.

“One day I decided to go for it. I got my samples ready. I walked into the Athens Kroger. I walked back out. I stood outside and told myself to go in there and talk to the manager,”— which she did. Five months later, the next steps were completed, and Nature’s Magic is now on the shelf, but on a low shelf. “You have to start somewhere,” she told me.

Pitching her products is still difficult for Danielle, but she is gaining confidence. Danielle is a one-woman show. While comfortable with the creative side, she has had to learn the business aspects of accounting, public relations, and marketing. “Day to day is so incredibly different,” she says. Her husband’s words remind her of all the steps that have brought her this far.

Nature’s Magic, including multipurpose spray, deep clean spray, glass cleaner, and concentrates for refills, is made in Ohio from carefully selected ingredients, and is available in the Athens, Columbus, and Toledo markets. Nature’s Magic leaves behind a clean home that smells crisp and feels as peaceful as the hills surrounding Danielle’s office.


Danielle offered this simple recipe for foaming hand soap plus you will know what you’re putting on your skin. You can also customize the scent as you like or use her suggestions. Filtered water is recommended as it removes undesirable material from your water, but tap water works too.

FOAMING HAND SOAP

You will need

• Foaming Soap Dispenser
• Water, 2/3 cup 
• Liquid Castille Soap (such as Dr. Bronner’s Baby Mild), 1/3 cup
• 100% Pure Essential Oils, total of 1/8 tsp
• Bathroom Scent: Lavender & Tea tree OR Peppermint & Rosemary, equal parts
• Kitchen Scent: Lemongrass & Peppermint, equal parts
• Label

Directions

1. Pour water into container.
2. Add liquid castile soap to the water (to avoid making bubbles).
3. Add the essential oils.
4. Screw on the hand pump and gently swish to mix.
5. Dry container and apply label.
6. Wash away!

I interviewed Danielle Young in hopes of getting an article published, but alas it did not find an outlet. After I interviewed her, she gave me a bottle of the Multipurpose Cleaner which I have happily been shaking and then spraying all over my house. I've also made the foaming soap to refill an empty foaming soap pump using the proportions in the recipe, but with Sweet Orange and Bergamot essential oils-- feel free to improvise. Photos by Elizabeth Reyes. Thank you Danielle and Elizabeth!

Nature's Magic. Photos by Elizabeth Reyes.

Serving a Grinch

Strain was palpable on the bartender's face as the restaurant hummed with customers. With only a brief glance at me, he took my order, retreated down the bar, attended to other matters, and then hurriedly placed my drink before me, failing to meet my eyes for more than a nanosecond. Instead, his eyes drifted to the vacant space above the next task. The elements of service were there but it lacked the warmth of my time under the lights. Lest you think I'm an attention hog, let me offer another perspective.

In Japan, lines are long and yet the customer's experience rarely waivers once it's your turn. The bartender stays with the customer until the drink is delivered, no interruptions. The ritual is honored as the drink is painstakingly measured, unhurriedly mixed, and then set before you with fanfare that varies with the bartender's skills of understatement (only in Japan). 

In any financial transaction in Japan, whether at a kiosk or a bank, money is meticulously counted out twice no matter how many others await their turn. First, cashiers counts the money to themselves while you watch, and then the money is again counted as it is given to the customer. Only the bank does this consistently in the States (so far). Recently when I counted out a wad of cash a grocery store cashier handed over to me, the cashier quipped, "We go on trust here!" I continued to count it and quipped back, "Not where I'm from." He probably missed by point.

Trusting that a foot will fall on something solid when stepping into the void is the kind of trust I think the world needs. When every customer's experience is consistent, whether from the bartender to the grocery store cashier, then the experience is about good service not whether I trust a stranger to make my drink or count my change. Even when you know the service provider it is a professionalism and self-respect for the work that is added to the transaction when the service is provided in a consistent and reverential way. 

Respect the work that you do by taking it seriously in the moment. 

Make me a drink; stay with me. Give me my change; count out my damn money. Act like you respect the work you do; expect me to watch you. Do your work; don't ask me fifty questions on how to do it-- that's why I'm paying you to provide the service. Trust that I will wait for the experience; deliver it. Ignore the chatty co-worker while you are engaged in a customer interaction; stay in the moment.

You have to choose to serve calmness.

Serving Calm, drinking a Grinch

Hippie or Nerd?

Robert X. Cringley's lost interview with Steve Jobs from a PBS series in the nineties, "Triumph of the Nerds" was found at the end of 2011. In the show, Robert had a standard question that he also asks Steve, "Hippie or Nerd?" In an interview full of hesitations and pauses, the immediate response is, "hippie."

Steve talks about things like knowing why you do things, business folklore, and humans as, "tool builders. We build tools that can dramatically amplify our innate human abilities." He talks about craftsmanship and the need to, "expose yourself to the best things that humans have done. And then try to  bring those things into what you are doing." He tells us great products are made from great content. There's also a formative story about a rock tumbler and a bunch of rocks that become beautifully polished stones. He tells us the process is the magic-- the friction, the noise, the group bumping up against each other-- for polishing stones and for collaborating with others.

Peace, love, art, and computers but without the love beads just black turtlenecks.

Country Loaf

My mother asked if I've given up writing my blog. I haven't. I had an essay to write, bread to bake, soup to make, and oh, a husband to help.

His new office was set up this week-- they take any kind of insurance so feel free to call for an appointment. He got a kick out of the inner office memo announcing his arrival at the practice. There was no mention of where he went to medical school or what he had done the past twenty years. However, it did say that he was a graduate of the local high school. Sounds like the local paper might even interview him and the other doc (a local too) for a story about returning to the community. I was amused that he had to read up on Appalachian culture as part of his orientation. I might need to borrow that.

For me, there is no substitute for wheat, yeast, and gluten. For those of you who imbibe, I thought I would share the most current version of my bread love, a country loaf. The sponge is the key to getting the awesome taste. Beware the recipe is three pages long, but you simply must try it. It is wonderful! The recipe makes two loaves or a lot of buns, but you can freeze them, and then refresh them in the oven thus extending the bread into your week. This is about real food, baked by your own hands, and it tastes awesome. If you just want an easy recipe, try the no knead method, but this, I promise, tastes better and beyond the need to think about timing, it is not much more work.

Yeast beasties come into action and make something marvelous and alive out of flour, water, and salt. Creating life, giving life, bread is simple and complex. Squishing sticky dough between your fingers is as real as it gets for playing with your food as a grownup. Go and throw out the bread laying in the plastic bag from the store, feed it to the birds, but toss it. Now, make the starter before bed, maybe on a Friday so that the following day you might be about your abode to make the dough and then bake it. Let me know if you hear it sing.

Happy baking!

Rolls are great for breakfast, lunch, & dinner-- store in the freezer

Country Loaf

Starter Sponge make day 1
Water, ½ cup 
Yeast (regular not quick acting), ½ tsp
Bran Flour Mix (see last page), ¾ cup

1. Mix together water and yeast in a large bowl and dissolve. Add flour. Mix together with a stiff spatula, it will look like a shaggy mass. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and cover with plastic wrap. 
2. Allow to rest at room temperature for 2 hours (up to 10 if room temp is under 80ºF) as a longer rest will develop the flavor of the bread. 

Starter sponge just mixed

Bread Dough make day 1 or 2
Starter Sponge, at room temperature
Water, 2 ½ cups
Yeast (regular not quick acting), ¼ tsp
Kosher Salt, 1 Tbsp 
Bran Flour Mix, 1 cup + 5 cups + ¼ cup (or more for stretching, shaping, etc.)

Mix & Knead

1. Scrape the shaggy mass of the Starter Sponge into a mixing bowl with a spatula or plastic dough scraper. 
2. Add the water, yeast, 1 cup of flour, and salt. 
3. Whisk together until smooth and thoroughly mixed, about 1 minute.
4. Add 5 cups of flour and stir with a spatula or wooden spoon until just combined-- it will be a shaggy mess. 
5. Cover the dough and allow it to rest for 20 minutes.
6. Knead the dough for 8 to 10 minutes with a stand mixer, 12 to 15 minutes if by hand. Look for proper gluten development to form by gently pulling a piece of dough to see if it stretches. If it looks like a windowpane and you see striations indicating the gluten network has formed (+) it is ready, however, if it  breaks (-), keep kneading. The dough will be sticky which is good.
7. Place ¼ cup of flour (use more as needed) on a kneading surface.
8. Scrap (do not tear) the dough onto the lightly floured surface. 
9. Stretch the dough to develop its structure-- stretch the top (12 o’clock) of the dough out and up and then toward the center; stretch the bottom (6 o’clock) of the dough out and down and then toward the center. Give the dough a quarter turn and repeat. Repeat the process. 
10. Shape the dough into a smooth ball with your hands, leave a bit of flour on it if it’s super sticky. 
11. Lightly oil a deep plastic bucket or bowl. 
12. Flip the dough over to insure both sides of the dough are coated with oil and cover, leaving the smooth side up.
13. Rest the dough and allow to rise in a draft free place (drafts are the enemy of dough) ideally between 74-80ºF (cooler temps need a longer rise) until it doubles in volume, ~1 ½ hours. When you press your finger into and out of the raised dough if the indent remains, it is ready. If the dent fills in, rest the dough more. If it collapses it has over-proofed. 

Just mixed dough that has rested for 20 minutes but before kneading

After kneading with the mixer for 10 minutes

Scrape dough onto a floured surface, about 1/4 cup-- note here I needed flour

Stretch, fold, and quarter turn

After stretch and fold at each quarter turn

Form dough into a ball using the flour surface to prevent sticking

Place the dough into a container where it can raise

Pre-Shape 

Makes 2 loaves, 3 baguettes, or ~24 rolls. Divide the dough either by the eyeball method or with a scale. Cut the dough with a bench cutter (do not tear it).

1. Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured surface. 
2. Gently pat into a rectangle shape using your fingertips and the palm of your hands.
3. Use a bench cutter, do not tear the dough, to divide into the portions needed-- 2 country loaves, 3 baguettes, 24 rolls, etc. I weigh out the rolls on a scale so they will be uniform, 70-72 gm each. 
4. Gently roll the dough over on itself-- do not manipulate it over much.
5. Cover and rest the dough for about 30 minutes from the time of the first cut.

Shape

1. Shake off the flour and place dough onto a barely floured surface.
2. Deflate the dough by patting into a rectangle shape using your fingertips and the palm of your hands. 
3. Form round loaf by bringing the all of the edges in toward the center, pinch the seams, turn it over, and cup it in your hands and gently form into a smooth ball pulling downward-- aim for tight surface tension with a smooth top. 
4. Place seam side up into a floured raising basket or seam side down on parchment paper or silpat or lightly floured surface. Cover and let the dough rest until double, ~45 minutes. 
5. Heat oven with a pizza stone and a cast iron pot on the bottom to 450ºF.

Slash & Score

1. Use a razor sharp blade at an angle to create a ridge, about ¼-inch deep for proofed dough or about ½-inch deep for under-proofed dough.
2. Allow to rest ideally 5 minutes before baking.

Bake

1. Fill a cup with water or ice cubes. 
2. Insure that your loaf is loose enough to slide into the oven, adding more flour (or cornmeal) as needed to the peel. 
3. Put on oven mittens or some kind of serious heat/steam protection for your hands and forearms. Place each loaf with parchment paper or silpat mat onto the pizza peel. 
4. Pour the water/ice into the heated cast iron pot at the bottom of the oven-- steam will erupt, close the door quickly. Reduce heat to 400ºF and bake for 15 minutes. Do not open the oven door during the first 15 minutes of baking, then give the bread a quarter turn for even browning if needed, remove the paper or silpat, I usually don't, and turn on the convection if you have this feature.
5. Total baking times vary depending on the size of the loaves-- see note below.
6. Bake until the crust is dark carmel colored (time varies with the shape and style of the loaf). Check doneness by tapping the bottom of the loaf, it should sound hollow.
1. Round Loaves, ~40 minutes
2. Baguettes, ~30 minutes
3. Rolls, ~18-20 minutes

Cool

Place hot bread onto elevated wire rack; get the rack up off the counter as the rack directly on the counter creates steam which softens your loaf’s crust. You should hear the crust crackle as it cools-- that is its song.

Bran Flour Mix

Organic* Bread Flour (12-14% protein), 3 cups

Organic* Whole Wheat Bread Flour, 1 cup

Measure the flour using the ‘stir, dip, and sweep’ method. Stir the flour up with a fork. Dip the measuring cup into the flour and fill until overflowing. Sweep off the excess to level the top.

Mix together a 20% Bran flour by mixture. Use 3:1 ratio of regular bread flour to whole wheat bread flour. Mix up as much as you need in a container and use for the bread, keep to the ratio. 

*Organic flour facilitates yeast development.

Steam

You need steam at the start of the baking process to make a crunchy bread crust. Whatever method of steam production, you will need to protect yourself! (I use silicon oven mittens.) Experiment with your oven and the methods to find the one that works for you and your oven. Variations include:

• Heated pizza stone with cast iron pot on the bottom and hot water poured in at the start of the baking (variation I use and mentioned above)

• Cast iron pot with a flat lid for baking the bread-- heat the cast iron pot with lid used as the base heated in the oven. Place the dough onto the lid and cover immediately with the pot. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove the pot top and bake for the remaining 20 or so minutes.

• Spray bottle method-- Spritz the over with water, close the door quickly, and spritz again after 3 minutes.

Refresh Bread

You can refresh a loaf by spritzing it with water or running it quickly through the water for a quick dose. Place loaf into a hot oven 400ºF for 10 to 15 minutes. Bread can be frozen, defrosted to room temperature, and then refreshed in this manner. 

Fresh bread should be stored in a brown paper bag.

Country Loaf made with a starter sponge

Redefining Success

Fields and barns roll past my car window as I contemplate a stranger's remark and my daughter's admonishment to "never hurry, never worry" as I tend to push things along.

We are about to begin life after the Navy, but I can only conjure up the past five years with one of us working full tilt and the other juggling, home alone, like mad. It was neither satisfying nor worth replicating. My husband's long hours and assignment in a foreign country meant that my job options were few which made the decision to stay home with young children fortuitous and led to adventures far flung from the confines of the American military base that supported other families like ourselves.

We enrolled our children into a Japanese yochien preschool without bilingual support staff. I soon had my hands full taking on a new culture that came home daily with my children, new unknown expectations of mothers in Japan, and the unsung duties as keeper of the flame.

My husband's days became long and longer. Work hours consumed him. He came up for air on the weekends except when traveling, on call, or away with other assignments. He turned green around the gills, got thicker around the middle, and took a hit on his health here and there. I got angry that everything and everyone being a priority but us, his family. Something needed to give and it felt like it might be me.

He started riding his bike to work, got a tan, and improved his disposition. Realizing that I alone was responsible, I began pursuing my own happiness. Yochien mama friends guided me through the currents of Japanese culture where even an illiterate beginner can go with the flow, it's the nail that sticks up that gets hammered down in Japan.

Things changed except the reality of the ever working spouse; I could rely only on myself. All obligations and adventures were scheduled during school hours. Cultural immersion combined with illiteracy meant that I missed details, but I learned to value presence, those who showed up, and those who invited me along. My American connections meant I had access to a book group except that they met in the evenings. I threw out the idea of a daytime book group. Chirp. Chirp. The knitting regulars were hot and heavy on Thursday evenings at the on base Starbucks. Inroads to use my brain while in the trenches of motherhood were blocked. I took to reading the book group's selection each month with the hope that a random encounter would offer up a chance to talk about books.

When another Navy wife sent out an email request for places to go, things to do, I imploded. Taking on more inputs, more sights, more adventures was low on my list. I wanted to have a thought, a cohesive deep thought. She kindly responded to my request for topical discussions but then got busy and eventually moved. I craved output while the rest of the world seemed bent on inputs.

Living in a language I couldn't speak gave rise to the writer within who longed to consider thoughts relevant to the pursuit of happiness as well as to the wells of misery that sometimes trap us with trickery and falsehoods with our blind acceptance of things that may not really work despite their popularity. Being an outsider made walls of belief objects that could be dispensed with or at least moved.

Living in a foreign culture is stimulating but draining. Being the end all be all parent to my children was all consuming. Seeing my husband exhausted every weekend wasn't fulfilling either.

Weekends we road our bicycles to the beach. The sound of the waves crashing ashore, the wide expanse of sea and sand, the washed up treasures of sticks, pottery, and shells, renewed our tired spirits and offered time for play and exploration to each of us. We managed, we got through.

Diamonds form as a result of time and pressure and so we considered future options in light of present pressures. Continuing the lopsided Navy life with one of us nearly working himself to death, was dismissed. My husband, a board certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, has skills in short supply in many communities.

The options were wide open, except that we were not. Too many years away from home, like Marco Polo, meant that we wanted to go home and never leave again. His hometown, a college town without heavy industry, offered rolling hills, pockets of intellect and tolerance, a farmer's market, and opportunity, lured us.

A nursing career put on hold for five years meant that job offers were not forth coming for me. Luckily, my husband could use a good partner with a nursing and business background with skills for which I'm uniquely qualified.

In Japan we learned to appreciate the health benefits of life within walking distance of people and businesses. We found a house within walking distance of downtown in his hometown. The problem with buying a house is that there are always things to repair, remodel. Having waited twenty years to claim a house as our final resting place meant that we weren't interested in delayed gratification. The internet, long phone chats, an excellent contractor, and a tiger mom for a mother-in-law in town, allowed us to remodel from afar. A renovated house meant it was in move in condition when we arrived and that we are committed to this place, this home.

Awaiting our belongings' arrival from Japan, we took time out for brotherly love and spent a week at a family gathering on the shores of Lake Michigan. The waves crested with fresh water, the skies blazed blue, the sun colored everyone's skin. In a toy shop while searching for materials for friendship bracelets a passerby overheard me answer the constant, "Where are you from?" This passerby knowingly exclaimed, "Southeast Ohio! It's in the middle of nowhere, farms, cows..." he trailed off. The statement hanging in the air prompted me to say, "It's quiet, and I've had enough adventure." The intrusive stranger responded, "O. U., it's a college town, nice. Quiet." He seemed to soften as he moved along leaving me with the inquisitive shopkeeper and a lingering wonder at the man's initial attitude and transition toward the hills of Ohio perhaps boring and yet rich in their own way.

Like a lot of things that are given up for defunct, like time to cook from scratch, I still hang on to the romantic notion of a hometown. Maybe its that question, "Where are you from?" Maybe it's the thought of a refuge, of belonging, when one tires of exotic locations and foreign ways.

The old chapter of longing passes the baton to the new chapter of being. I aim to observe the hometown ways of American life with the same tenacity I explored being a Yochien Mama in Kamakura, Japan. In my usual way of doing things backward, I adopted the sister-city first.

My current idea of a successful life? It doesn't include money, travel, or positions of power. It does include family dinners, time to attend family events, pursing hobbies and interest along side of work, and time to cook with real food not packages of preassembled factory components with both of us working and leading a more balanced life, together.

Control of one's time may seem like our own El Dorado, the fictional city made of gold that led to the demise of a few Spaniards, but we're going for hometown life anyway.

Adventures in Hometown Living

A Checklist for Bureaucracy!

What adds value?

A Long Day

It's near midnight when my husband walks through the door. He glances up as I come down the stairs. He looks weary. "Are you hungry?" I ask. He nods. When he sits down at the table he says, "We're our own worse enemy." He's talking about the Navy. I respond with a line from The Incredibles, "We're supposed to help OUR people!" His long day gets down to people not helping each other. The bureaucracy gets in the way of helping the people it is there to serve. This thought goes along with the thought that we are our own worst enemy which has an exponential effect when institutionalized.

Action Woman Stirs

As I sat at the table watching him inhale his food and listening to his thoughts at day's end, my first thought was I need a notepad. He says the best stuff when he's tired. My second thought was Can this ever be fixed? I'm action woman, I like things to work, I like to do things, and it drives me bonkers when systems don't work.

A Talk on TED

Today I listened to a TED Talk at random. It happened to be by Atul Gawande who writes about healthcare, is from a small town in Ohio, and wrote the book The Checklist Manifesto. The general idea is that by looking at failure and how other industries like the airlines and construction adapt to both failure and complex systems, the healthcare industry can benefit from using a checklist. The checklist, though it isn't sexy, has improved healthcare outcomes by thirty some percent in every hospital in which it was implemented. (A medication that could do this would be selling like a fire spreading on dry prairie grass.)

The Cowboy Vs. a Pit Crew

In the TED Talk, he pointed out the need to transition medicine from the lone cowboy to the pit crew mentality. He told a story of having met a real cowboy who explained how the cowboys manage to herd thousands of animals across thousands of acres of open lands. It involved cell phones and checklists. The talk ended with, "Complexity requires group success. We all need to be pit crews now."

A Solution!

That's when it came to me. Every bureaucracy needs a checklist which can be pulled out in moments of panic like when an airplane is crashing to refocus the bureaucracy on those killer items, you know, the ones that kill your customers!

You can have a checklist for every kind of problem just like the pilots, the cowboys, and the construction crews. Just like the operating room does. Pause points can be used when you can't go back. Checklists can remind us of of key things that can get easily missed, like the needs of military children. Checklists could indicate what each part of the crew needs to do and what has been done to care for difficult people, just like on complex building projects. Even patients need a checklist to keep them on track.

It's Elbow Grease by a Landslide

Contrary to popular belief, the mental health department does not have a magic wand that can make other people's problems disappear. That has a lot more to do with elbow grease contributions by all parties.

Still, I need a checklist

I have been avoiding making a list of priorities, needs, wants, values, etc., that are to help me focus on my purpose, life, tasks, etc. I like my aimless meanderings for the most part, and I have several big transitions looming on the horizon that will soon takeover the focus of my life. That said, a checklist can add value to every complex interaction. There is room in my messy life for a checklist, but the checklist itself must get at where failures happen and at what gets easily forgotten amongst other things.

I need to return to and review the book for further inspiration. What to consider on a checklist for a meaningful day, a meaningful life? I'd start with loves, and am I really doing those things? What to consider on a checklist for a business? I'd start with the mission statement or the purpose. It's just a start as I'm sure there is more. There is always more. The question is: What adds value? Another one is what do you value? Here is the talk to consider for yourself.

The Youtube Video of the TED Talk

Take Care

"Do you want to take care of Mrs. J, Mr. J's wife, right now?"

My greeting to TAP (Transitional Assistance Program) class for those exiting the Navy in the near future. "Mr. J," my husband, had been called away from class by the Emergency Department. The class coordinator explained that "Mr. J" had one hour to take care of the issue or he was out of the class.

Advocate that I am for injustice, I tried explaining that there was no one else for the Emergency Department to call for his service. This resulted in the business that this problem was between him (Mr. J) and his Commanding Officer and that plenty of Commanding Officers take this class by the way and are capable of clearing their schedule. I rebutted, "He has no choice. He's the only one." It went on, but you get the idea.

"Mr. J's" Commanding Officer, by the way, runs the hospital. My guess is that he would expect "Mr. J" to respond to the emergency department's request just as he is expected to respond to hospital's needs at every other hour of the day. I'm sure "Mr. J" would like a break from this yoke too.

I let go of the bureaucratic policies, not people first attitude and attempted to consider the information being presented. I'm either getting really good at putting aside unpleasantries, or I need more practice since the universe keeps delivering opportunities.

Here are some things that were hammered home, to do to prepare for retirement:

You need a personal financial plan with a budget, achievable goals, an estimate of your income and other taxes, and a retirement investment plan that pays better than the current bank rates. You can start at forty, but it helps to start earlier.

There is a lot of paperwork to attend to when retiring, but if you don't take care of the paperwork, you may not get paid.

Anything requiring an official signature will require the Active Duty Member to do it or a power of attorney.

Nothing happens without a line of accounting, but I knew that (＾ｰ^)ノ

I'd really like to wash my hands of the whole Navy business at this point. I'm not feeling any organizational love, but I'm bound to it. Navy friends and other friends have offered up thoughts, suggestions, and a few "Been there." One suggestion was to contact our Congressman which I can't quite get my head around because nothing procedurally has been wrong in our case. This is simply how the system works, and we earmark no special treatment.

Life isn't fair, but it doesn't mean it should be this way. I'm not sure what to do about it, but if it comes to me, I'll share.

"Do you want to take care of Mrs. J, Mr. J's wife, right now?"

Measuring Work

The Crush
I aim to bear my burdens gracefully, but I do fall short particularly when it comes to watching my husband working himself to death. Bearing witness to a crushing workload on another person is distressing.

My husband on average leaves home at seven in the morning and returns at ten in the evening sometimes earlier and more often, later. There is no time for dinner together, no time to help our children with reading in English or piano, no time for friends or hobbies. The long hours instead sap his health and deprive him of essential downtime. We each do what we must. My husband feels he has no choice but to work and work and work. The work never stops. The need is great.

Japanese friends have expressed concern that my husband has so much work, interpreting that there must be many sick American children sent by the military to Japan. It is more complicated than this because there is not an equivalent type of care or assessment available in Japan- there are few enough physicians trained to work in mental health with children even in the States. Meanwhile the Japanese answer to some of the garden variety behavioral problems in children is simply that they do not exist- except that my children regale me with tales of children wearing trash cans and entertaining classmates with interruptions and pranks that to perhaps a more trained eye speak volumes on children adrift.


Help is Available
For families that realize that there is help available, they come. Being helpful means, people come, but the helpful help is not so quick or easy to formulate. The way that health care administrative processes review and determine workloads rewards initial visits and office visits and not the process often needed over time.

According to statistics, which no one can clearly explain how they are derived, my husband, despite his monster hours, numerous phone consults, hand holding sessions, and administrative responsibilities, is only working part-time on the admin guru scale. This shortchanges not just him but patients and families as well. It begs the question is your health care best determined by you and your needs with a doctor or an administrative process in an office years before you ever know you have a medical need?

In mental health there can be a fairly long assessment and interview process that requires a detailed write up and then there are ongoing visits and adjustments for medications and treatments. Some of which can be done over the phone particularly when there are long travel distances involved for patients and families except that this penalizes the physician. This patient centered focus doesn't jibe well with the "in and out" and only "one problem at a time" insurance processes which guide both civilian and military medical care.

Mental health write ups take time from collecting the information, to listening to a family and a patient, to reviewing the problems, to doing the actual writing and insuring diagnosis are supported appropriately. Then there is ongoing follow up and consultation such as talking with the schools, families, and patient except that in the administrative world of health care this isn't important- at least in terms of how the physician is encouraged to act by the number of beans put into his doing good pile.


Caring
It would help if he didn't care, didn't help, and told everyone to come in for an appointment- meaning no help over the phone- since it takes patients months and months to get an appointment, but he doesn't. He just doesn't eat dinner with us, or have time to himself, or make time for friends, instead he wears himself out working halftime, twiddling his thumbs, and doing all of the things that aren't rewarded in the system. He tends to notice what is and is not helpful to the particular person in front of him.

Those civilian healthcare models that the military strives to emulate usually include staff that are seasoned; stay in the same department and roles over long periods of time; and have support staff that are specialized and dedicated to their area; whereas the military pulls people away for training; shuffles staff constantly; or just lets you do the job of seven people. Someone is sure to stop by and tell you to come to a meeting where they can give you a pep talk and tell you about your numbers too. They are two different sports trying to play by the same rules.


The Impact
Yes, I'm flawed, frustrated, and through, but I have also noticed that when patients or their families do approach me it is to tell me things like, "Your husband is the most wonderful...." His unbearable workload appears to be helpful to patients. The system doesn't care what is happening to him and so it goes on. But me? I'm standing on the sideline witnessing an atrocity, a waste, and I can't keep my mouth shut, but before you dismiss my plight, this is bigger than one doc.

Consider the impact of valuing numbers, widgets, and budgets. The system is promoting care that is responsive not to patients but to metrics. Few providers have the stamina to oppose the flow of bureaucracy. What is measured and how it is measured matters to every single one of us. Plenty of providers look perfect on paper, but annoy patients to no end for not listening, not taking calls, and not taking time to assess more than one problem at a time.

You get what is measured and there is a whole lot of humanity missing from the cup of healthcare metrics being served today.

The Lowdown on a Spring Day

The day was beautiful with a touch of sun. I am beginning to believe it's spring.

Dear Summer,
I long for your warm days. I promise not to despise you when I am sweaty and drippy and hours from a bath.

Do come, and tell spring to bring us some orders. I really want to go home.
What? Ruby Red Slippers? No, no, brown shoes.

If we close our eyes and tap our heels together three times and say, 'There's no place like home,' then can we go?

When my children ask me, "Where is your favorite place Mama?" I always say, "Home, in bed." I love bed. More and more, I am wishing that our home though was in the States. Let me clarify that being in the States represents my husband being out of the Navy. It's not so much about Japan or really the Navy generally, but specifically from a crushing workload for which there is no respite.

I stopped by to see him today and uncharacteristically he walked me outside the building. I thought this is either a really bad sign, as in he's flipped a lid and gone the hippie smell the flowers route of coo coo, or, this is good, he's walking away from work to get a dose of sunshine. I had it all wrong. Nature called.

The bathrooms for Behavioral Health at Yokosuka Naval Hospital Japan 4/2/12

The building with no drinking water, now has no toilet. At least in Japan portable toilets are fancy compared to our American holes. It even had spritzer for deodorizing the "room." I laughed pretty hard when I saw the bathrooms.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Oh, my stair chomp-per! The Moose tried to take a bite out of the stairs today. He has some wiggly teeth now. The dentist recently recommended wiggling his teeth for five minutes each day to loosen up his front teeth. In one swift tumble, he has one hanging by a thread. His chin should be a lovely purple brown for the first day of school later this week. At least his dad got to stop by the emergency room and give him a hug. I think his dad needed it more.

Retirement Calls

The Call
My mom called today her voice singing with happiness. She is officially retired! It was a recent decision not a long drawn out countdown. Three weeks ago she decided it was time. My guess is that my mom will be fine in her retirement but it may take some adjustment to new routines which will hopefully include more time to rest, exercise, cook, and play.

As she stands on the threshold of change her friends, family, and co-workers had a luncheon at McGuires for her. She told me about the people, the food, and the book they all signed and gave to her as a gift. She may have told me about the food first, she does that.

The Thought
She has worked hard and given much in her years at the office. She has much to be proud of and with her departure there is the makings of an end of an era, the "When Jeanette was here..." kind of thing. She was a by the book, knew the regulations, and no shortcuts to a good job kind of worker. They were lucky to have her.

I know I am. Happy retirement Mom!

My mom's retirement cake!

The Gift
I was hoping my bag would make it, but alas it did not. I held off posting a photo to surprise her, but it seems appropriate to post it here. For the record, I did look at the fabric twice before I cut it. I was really sure that the pattern could go either way. The Mule questioned my direction choice, but I'm sticking with dochi demo, either way is ok! I loved the fabric and liner combination and hope my mom does too. Now, I'll be counting down someone else's retirement and this one is a long drawn out affair! Beer will be the official drink for the next one in case anyone is wondering. A band might be in order too!

My mom's RETIRED bag! Ready for whatever she is!

Turning Pains into Unicorns

After more than a year of politics, my husband reported in a small victory. The behavioral health clinic is now the recipient of a paper shredder that can turn documents into dust. Department meetings won't be the same without the, "Status of the shredder report?" No worry though, they are now battling for drinking water supplies. The red headed step child of medicine, behavioral health, is not in the same building as all of the other medical services. It sits in a stand alone building where the water is not potable. The water delivery used to be mostly adequate, occasionally my husband asked me to drop off extra water, but then there was a change in vendors by the admin gurus who work in another building and decide these things. They also decided the weekly water supply could now be the monthly supply (Willy Wonka Science Teacher anyone?). My husband, being in a leadership position, has been forced to advocate for the staff and patients. You might think they work for some low rent fly by night company, but this is admin at work in the United States Navy, saving tax payers everywhere money.

You may wonder why I know so much about all of these inner workings. My children call their dad at the office to say, "Good night Dada!" I then chat with him about why he is yet again at work until ten or later in the evening. He tells me about all the nonsensical duties he has to attend in addition to his "real job" of seeing patients, writing reports, mentoring colleagues, telephone consults, and being on call. These duties make for a long day as is but the hair that breaks the camel's back includes using hostile computer programs that crash, dump data, and take longer than pen and paper; mandatory computer training to be completed by the close of business or else you can't go on leave; and responding to emails to justify drinking water supplies. My children only see their dad on the weekends.

My husband amazes me. I would go bonkers in his shoes with all that bureaucracy crap to negotiate. What am I saying, I go bonkers in my own shoes.  Do you remember the movie The Fifth Element with Bruce Willis? In a hostile situation where the bad guy aliens are taking over a pleasure ship, he, Bruce the hero, guns down the bad guy alien leader and then his comrade asks, "Any body else want to negotiate?" No one does. Maybe that's why the scene is funny, we all get sick of negotiating and wish things could be direct, to the point, and over something important.

I wonder how my husband stays sane. He bears a heavy load with grace. I respect the hell out of him for that. I grump and groan more than necessary. I also support him by way of assuming responsibility for things in his life that he cannot attend to, namely childrearing, packing lunches, and home life. When he does have time at home, he gets in some trouble for sleeping too much, but he gets brownie points for cooking dinner, playing with children, and repairing things meaning he's a good guy who helps when he can. He is also a man of habits. He reads the daily lectionary, plays guitar, watches horror films, and has a few cups of tea while "widgeting." That's it, that is how the man stays mellow. He says the bike ride to and from work is essential too. Every recipe is different, his works for him.

I'm still working on my recipe for mellowness. The main problem has to do with my delusion that life should not be so hard. This flies in the face of the Buddhist teaching on suffering. I think the Buddhist are winning. I'm always shocked when good doesn't prevail, when someone is unkind, when things don't go according to plan. My expectations get me in trouble, but somehow I keep hanging onto them.

Our son worries a lot for a six year old. He thinks about death and dying like some kids think about having ice cream- too much. He asked me recently, "What can I do so I won't think of these bad feelings?" I worked with him on, "Focus on your breathing like the monks do. Take a deep breath, follow your breath in and out. Try doing this ten times." He uses the idea about every fiftieth time. His dad waltzes in and quotes a movie line. Son responds. They crack themselves up. Maybe you don't need those deep breathes, well, you do when Dad isn't around or at least until Mom gets a better sense of humor.

It goes something like this:
Dad says, "If God had wanted man to fly,"
My son finishes, "He would have given him wings Mr. Kidd."

This kind of humorous distraction works. I see it in my own household daily. I came upon a TED Talk that touched on this idea. It is a great technique and a funny story. Shawn Achor starts with a story about when he was seven years old and playing war with his kid sister. She falls off of the upper bunk bed and lands awkwardly. He panics, having accidentally broken her arm the week before. He comes up with this, remember he was seven at the time:

Did you see how you landed? No human lands on all fours like that. Amy, I think this means you're an unicorn. Now that was cheating because there was nothing in the world my sister would want more- not to be Amy the five year little sister, but Amy the special unicorn. Of course this was an option that was open to her brain at no point in the past and you could see my own poor manipulated sister's face conflict as her better brain attempted to devote resources to feeling the pain, the suffering, the surprise she had just experienced or contemplate her new found identity as a unicorn. The latter won out. 

Shawn Achor, TED Talk "The Happiness Advantage: Linking Positive Brains to Performance"

My husband is a natural at this technique as well which is why "status of the paper shredder" was on the meeting agenda for over a year- it brought humor to the ridiculous admin bureaucracy that blocked a mental health department from obtaining a piece of necessary office equipment. Let's see how they fare with getting drinking water. It is also why he quotes movie lines to himself and our son. It keeps absurdities on a humorous level. I haven't fully appreciated this until now, I am going to work on turning more of my pains into unicorns.

Do watch the talk for yourself, there is at least a few chuckles in it for you.