Sunday, September 25, 2011

Girl Talk

On a recent afternoon I had tried calling a girl friend in hopes of finding someone to talk pencil drawings with me. She was out. I was at the Starbucks awaiting an oil change to my car. I sorted through my list and wondered what to do. Just before lunch my car was ready. I picked it up and headed to my husband's office. He was awaiting a lunch date previously scheduled. I was invited to join of course, but as we were heading out the Base gate my friend came along pushing her bicycle. I immediately ditched the boys and asked her if she had time for a chat. I told her, "I need to talk to a girl." Plus I knew with two boys at lunch, there would be no discussion of tile, layouts, or flow.

My friend sat through my bewildering explanation of the drawings and thoughts for our renovation, asking relevant and design provoking questions. I felt concerned and weighted down as I left her house. What to do? She made me realize that I did not have enough information about what we were adding or doing to make the best decisions. Plus a long chat was in order with my husband about house stuff- not what he is interested in doing after a long day at the office.

In an attempt to understand the layout of the addition, I got out the whiteout to see what would happen if I did this or that to the pencil drawings. Turned out the whiteout was really superglue. I ended up with superglue and paper stuck to my fingers for about a day. My husband was more amused by my paper endowed fingers than by the layouts presented. He refused, conveniently, to talk about layoutst until we had actual measurements from the builder. It made sense, but it wasn't helping my anxiety at spending money on a home renovation.

Finally, some where between obentos, undokai, and the weekend, my husband and I received the measurements from the builder and sorted through the myriad list of options for the renovation. Then, with grumbling from a reluctant husband who really just wanted to play his guitar, we were able to mark off the rooms on the floor. This was helpful for considering different layouts. I also forced him through a few photos of bathrooms to insure his compliance with color schemes and styles. There is more to do and more choices, but it is good to find common ground. The vagueness of the renovation had take up too much space within me. In cleaning up the confusion of the layout, I feel back to a more spacious place within me. You don't always realize what is taking over your life until you get another perspective.