Thursday, November 1, 2012

A Birthday Cake Decree

I flubbed the birthday party cake. The birthday girl had requested that mama make the cake. I wanted to get one from the bakery because despite liking to bake, cake is not what I like to bake, that would be bread, more specifically yeast breads. I made nice cinnamon rolls for the party, but the cake, sigh, it was terrible. Everyone loved the punch, raved about the wheat berry salad and the millionaire chicken, ate the yeast buns and the cinnamon rolls, but the strawberry whipped cream sponge cake sat there looking pitiful and more like melting custard.

I fancy myself a reasonable baker so the birthday cake disaster bothered me. Only it wasn't over, but I didn't know that then.

On the official day of the birthday, I prepared the birthday breakfast request, crepes. I got up, made the batter, ran it through the sieve, made the crepes, cut the berries, whupped the cream, and the crepes were perfecto.

After the breakfast cleanup, I made shortbread cookies with rainbow sprinkles and took them to the birthday girl's class. She reported back excellent reviews. By late afternoon, I was starting to feel redeemed. Plus there was uptown trick-or-treating and a quick swim lesson to gloss up a weekday birthday.

Then there was a late dinner after swimming. As I scrambled to pull together the fastest dinner on the East Side, birthday girl asked me, "Where's my cake?" "Ah, we did that on Saturday," was my weak reply.

She got out the whipping cream and began whupping it. She put the whupped cream into the left over crepes from the morning. They were under a towel on the counter. She then went in search of candles. When she found none, she got a small bee shaped candle she had bought at the Farmer's Market, placed it on a plate, and lit it with the lighter. We sang, "Happy Birthday, cha cha cha," to a plate.

Did I mention there is about five pounds of Halloween candy around the house as I type?

All of you parents out there who think you've got this birthday thing licked, yeah, me too. I was dumb enough to think one can conveniently schedule a birthday celebration and ration the events and fun to make them more manageable. Ha!

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, this is a birthday decree:
All birthdays will be celebrated on the actual day of birth with a cake, preferably not made by mama, with candles, with the official birthday song because it doesn't matter if we had a birthday party on the weekend, it doesn't matter if we celebrated it at school or the office, it only matters what we do on the day of birth at the dinner table in our house. All birthdays are to be properly celebrated and this means CAKE, CANDLES, and the song on the day, no matter what! 

Now that I think about it, it has to be a WHOLE CAKE because back in March when we went to Ninja Land to celebrate the Moose's birthday, he was upset when we ate a slice of cake at a coffee shop and told us that it did not count as a birthday cake.

Shoot me now.

The birthday cake disaster


  1. You an lead a horse to water....
    I thought you purchased the most excellent cake book that I recommended? Why not use it! At least then you know exactly how much fat and sugar you are pouring into your wee kiddy! :-)

  2. Yeesh, I do have it, I downloaded it to my widget and forgot about it. Of course I did look for inspiration, but I forgot to check the widget shelves. I make plain cakes just fine, I prefer to skip the messy frosting, decoration pressures. I can't pour fat and sugar particularly into one of my kiddos who avoids it like the plague. If only I could eat plain oatmeal, tofu, and rice... Plus there was that move that scrambled my wits this summer. I'm still recovering from culture shock, but it is getting better and better. Mm, I must find it now that you've reminded me that I filed it away. Arigato Jules!


All comments are moderated & word verification is on to check for humans: